Don’t Just Tell Me, Show Me

Anyone who’s dipped a toe into the writing world has heard the phrase “show, don’t tell.” But what does it mean, exactly? Words not only elicit ideas, but can also ignite familiar sensations to create a synergistic connection with the reader.

How do you show (or demonstrate) something in words?

Start with Imagery

Telling: “He wore his boots until the soles became thin.”

This isn’t terrible, but a crafty author like Terry Pratchett would elevate this a few notches to draw a more specific image and immerse the reader by explaining the sensory effect thin soles have on his character.

Showing: “Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.” (From Men at Arms: The Play.)

This can be accomplished in a more straightforward fashion as well, as we see often in web content. Instead of stating a thing, create an image of the thing you’re expressing.

Telling: “This is a difficult thing to do.”

Showing: “This is as easy as catching a tiger with a fly net.”

Tailor to Your Voice and Style

The examples above may not fit the voice and style of your work, so tailor as needed. If you want to tone down the humor, include specific actions that would lead to the result you’re telling the reader about to spark engagement.

Telling: Our massage services will improve your overall well-being.

Showing: Our massage therapists soothe and loosen tight, aching muscles with their decades of collective expertise.

Mind the Details

I reserve this step for the first or second round of editing. Examine the finer details of your work and ask yourself how you might say something without actually saying it.

Telling: I walked through the snow on a winter night.

Showing: Snow crunched under my feet as I crossed the yard.

In the above, the reader is getting the sensory details of the snow and a sense of when and where this takes place. This tip does come with a caveat: be judicious in choosing which details to describe, as too much “showing” can wind up becoming purple prose.

Use Speech and Dialogue

This is an easy one with fiction. How a character expresses herself can reveal a great deal about her. Bonus tip: If you’re prone to overusing adverbs, figure out how you can express the same idea with action or dialogue.

Telling: “I don’t like pickles,” she said rudely.

Showing: “Pickles taste like vinegar and ass,” she said.

Maybe this character is less vulgar and more timid. Maybe they speak as much with body language as with words.

Revised again: She pulled at the hem of her shirt. “I, uhh, well, I know a lot of people like pickles, but I, well… I’m very sorry, but they’re just not for me, is all…”

With nonfiction, I caution prudence against bias. Maybe that’s just the old school journalist in me. When quoting someone in a nonfiction piece, use care with how a person’s words will reflect upon them in context, and only use quotes that are genuinely relevant to the topic.

With all of this in mind, remember that “showing” vs. “telling” is just one tool available in your writing kit. Play around with these tips and see what fits your style and voice.