Of Addiction and Superpowers
Tropes are tropes for a reason: they’re relatable story elements that make it easier for the reader to immerse themselves. There’s a delicate balance when using these tools in writing. Use them too often and your story sounds lazy; but use them too little, and your reader may never connect with you.
What tropes are to stories, contrast is to art. Contrast makes for bold lines, intriguing clashes of color, and a defined theme or message. Too much contrast may be hard on the eyes, while too little won’t draw the eye at all.
Combine two tropes with a heap of contrast—the hero and the helpless addict—and you’ve got yourself one of many iconic fictional characters: think Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man, Jessica Jones, or Sterling Archer. If use of power were a circular spectrum, where at one end the hero uses their power righteously and at the other uses it wickedly (specifically for self-destruction), these characters would habitually straddle the line between the two extremes.
There is an inescapable trait that develops when you’re consumed by an addiction. You always want more: a new high, a higher dose, more frequent hits, a greater distance between yourself and reality.
Why would a hero want that?
Heroes of old were often painted as the ideal being we could all look up to. By today’s standards, the original Superman was little better than that one kid whose superpower was “all of the superpowers!” Over time, their stories darkened and their flaws became exposed, and not just to be edgy. They were finally made relatable. Heroes are weighed down by responsibilities and expectations, so in a human light, it’s no wonder they hear the siren call of self-destruction.
In the power spectrum, the potential good (or construction) is balanced with the potential evil (or destruction) the hero can wrought. From personal experience, the people who hurt themselves the most also have the potential to do the most good. The depths are the same, but the ocean is vastly different. Those who choose to wade in the constructive waters do more for their loved ones, take care of themselves, and ultimately make a difference in the world. Rather than create distance from reality, they embrace it, barbs and all, to do what they can to make it a little better.
On which side of the spectrum do you invest your energy?
It’s not often that a person solely wades in either the constructive or the destructive end. Mostly we traverse somewhere in the middle, hopefully closer to the constructive end. If you’re not sure where you are—or if you defiantly stand on the destructive side—I invite you to answer these questions:
Are your coping mechanisms helping or hindering you? Everyone strategizes to deal with stress and to self-soothe, consciously or otherwise. Are your strategies ultimately healthy or destructive? You may find yourself blurting out a long-winded explanation about why your nightcap is perfectly reasonable, why you “deserve” a bowl of ice cream after a hard day, or how your habits “could be worse.” Examine your answers and be honest with yourself. While a nightcap or a bowl of ice cream are not inherently bad things, how you feel about them matters. A healthy perspective acknowledges that their consumption is a passing event that could be skipped without notice, while an addictive perspective heatedly defends them.
If you stopped your habit, would you suffer withdrawals? I realized that my caffeine intake was problematic when I could not healthfully cope with anxiety, but I only saw just how bad it was when I experienced withdrawals—without even going cold turkey. At first, I limited myself to 300 mg of caffeine per day (the equivalent of three cups of coffee), and still found myself crippled with migraines, body aches, dehydration, and nausea. Withdrawals need not be physical. If you find yourself anxious and angry over the loss of your habit, that is a mental withdrawal. If your habit has that tight a grip on how your body and mind function, it’s worth re-examining.
What are you avoiding? When and where do you feel the need to indulge in your habit? When do you feel the need to escape most? Answering this question leads you to the true source of your habit and empowers you with the chance to face it and deal with it. I know that dealing with problems is a terrifying prospect (What happens if we fail to fix things or don’t have the power to fix them?) but it’s either stand and fight the problem, or surrender to self-defeat. You cannot choose your circumstances; you choose your actions.
If you’ve managed to answer these questions honestly—and you don’t hate me for putting them out there—I have a recommended reading list below that helped me along the road to recovery. Even if you feel powerless to change, know that even a small step in the right direction is progress. It starts with self-awareness, even if that means that you only know that there’s a problem. It’s okay if you don’t know how to fix it yet. That’s why research is crucial to change. If you’re not working toward the constructive end of the spectrum, the current will pull you back to the destructive end.
Recommended reading
*Please note that I am not sponsored by any of these authors. I make these recommendations at no benefit, save that I might help someone find their answers.
The Deepest Well | Dr. Nadine Burke Harris
This book chronicles Dr. Harris’s career in public health. She observed that those with Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) were more prone to health and mental issues as they grew into adults. Her work inspired me to take better care of myself inside and out.
The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women | Valerie Young
While this book focuses mostly on women, the information applies to anyone. Young describes impostor syndrome with a conciseness and clarity that made me feel like I had been blind all my life. When you feel like a useless fraud in everything you do, you also feel powerless, and inadvertently find yourself using the power you actually do have for self-destruction.
How to be an Imperfectionist | Stephen Guise
I’ve referenced this book in a previous blog post and I can’t stress enough how much it has helped me conquer anxiety. Guise goes into clear depths about how perfectionism hampers progress by setting the bar out of reach, forever making the perfectionist feel like a failure. That perpetual feeling can drive many, like myself, to unhealthy habits.
What are your superpowers?
If this has all been overwhelming and you’re uncertain where to begin, look inward. Find your superpowers and contemplate how they can make you feel alive. It doesn’t need to be anything you’re good at. Jessica Jones didn’t “get good” at lifting cars with her bare hands—that’s just her superpower. The way she chooses to use her strength is what matters. Enjoy writing? Write things. Who cares if anyone reads them. Just write for yourself. Have a dream poking you in the back of your mind, like climbing a mountain or learning to crochet? Take the first step, however small, to make it happen. Do not let fear decide your life, or else you’ll never see what you can do with your superpower.